this night is very very difficult and a very big mistake and it’s time I put myself to bed.

my loneliness has taught me to be grateful. you’re all spectacular - I don’t know what I did to deserve friends so loyal, so forgiving.

but dreams come slow and they go so fast.

abusive asshole (who used to say, ‘If you don’t come here in 15 minutes, I’ll go home with someone else’) was texting and calling me while I was with the third guy I’d been out with that weekend and I didn’t even see the calls until the next morning because I wasn’t focused on my phone and he’s such a loser and this is likely very unhealthy and childish but seeing that felt pretty damn good.